It was inevitable. I’d been warned. Those in the know told me it would happen. Still, I clung to the desperate hope that I might be spared. Well, the axe has fallen. I just received my first 1-Star reader review, and it’s a doozy. The only thing this guy left out was to say that I’m a complete moron. Talk about criticism. Makes me wonder if there really is such a thing as constructive criticism.
I don’t know what this guy ate for breakfast, but he was definitely in a bad mood when he wrote my review. “One of the worst books I ever read.” “Unoriginal and predictable.” “Overall the writing is terrible.” “This book was a complete waste of my time.” Gee, Mr. Kauffman, instead of walking on eggshells, tell me what you really think.
After a brief period of mourning and a few misty-eyed moments, I decided to search some popular novelists and see if any of them received bad reviews. Here’s what I found:
The Shining by Stephen King: “The damn book made me want to sleep.”
Silence of the Lambs by Thomas Harris: “This book is stupid . . . I hate it!”
Mr. Murder by Dean Koontz: “The characters are dull and one-dimentional.”
The Scarecrow by Michael Connelly: “Predictable with huge plot holes and poorly drawn characters.”
True Blue by David Baldacci: “Everything about this book is terrible.”
Double Cross by James Patterson: “The plot is trite, the characters cartoonish and the prose is amateurish.”
I feel so much better knowing I’m in such good company.