Once is not Enough

How many times have you promised yourself after gorging your belly with a 10-course Thanksgiving dinner that you’d never do it again? Next year, you proclaim, you’re going to pace yourself and walk away from the dinner table not feeling like you’re at the verge of exploding. Well, for me, I set an all-time record this year, and to be honest with you, I’m totally disgusted with myself. 

You see, it wasn’t just “BirdDay” that got me in the gut; it was the week that preceded the holiday. My mother-in-law came to visit for a week and spent Thanksgiving with us. So, my wife and I felt the need to wine and dine her during her visit. But instead of taking her to nice restaurants that served modest portions, we went the all-you-can-eat buffet route. We did the Soup Plantation, Onami’s Sushi, Zorba’s Greek buffet, Palomino’s Mexican restaurant (not a buffet but the portions are ridiculously gi-normous!). We also did breakfast at the Broken Yoke Café, and did some serious damage there as well. 

By the time Thanksgiving rolled around, my stomach was well prepared to chow down a record-setting amount of food—and believe me when I tell you; I was like an eating machine! We were invited to a friend’s house for dinner, a friend who cooks enough food to feed every man, woman, and child in the western hemisphere. Seriously. Not only did she roast two twenty-pound turkeys with all the fixings, her appetizer selection was a buffet all by itself. I’m talking everything from artichoke dip to cheese trays to hummus to shrimp cocktail—you name it, and she had it. 

By the time I downed a couple of glasses of wine and grazed on the selection of finger foods, I wasn’t really hungry for dinner, but hey, I didn’t want to be rude! So, I did what any red-blooded American boy would do on Thanksgiving, piled it on my plate and stuffed it in until my eyes were out of focus. And then, of course, when my brain caught up with my stomach, I could barely breathe. It was not a pretty sight. 

So, as a result of my glutinous behavior, I have decided to make an early New Year’s resolution. I’m going to lose 15 pounds by March 1, 2010 and limit my visits to my favorite buffets. Yes, I know, you’ve heard it all before. In fact, this is not the first time I vowed to lose weight and limit the calorie intake. But unlike in the past, I’ve got a little more incentive this time. I donated my “fat pants” to a local charity. So either I lose weight or run around in my skivvies. And that would be a scary sight.

4 Comments

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4 responses to “Once is not Enough

  1. YOUR SIS, RO

    It would be a scary sight to see you running around in you skivvies. Sweat pants might be better.
    We all do the same thing as you did around the holidays. We can’t help it cause we are Italians.
    Our brother David ate tons of food at my house for 2 days. Can’t wait until you move home so you can cook for him.
    This is a bad time of year to start a diet. I wish you luck!

    • Daniel

      Actually, you’ve done such a great job taking care of David that I think you should continue.

      Yes, it is a bad time of year to start a diet. However, is there ever really a good time?

  2. poolagirl

    I just can’t do that anymore. I haven’t eaten since yesterday morning – and it’s going on 3:00 PM now!

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