On Saturday, my wife and I returned home from our weeklong cruise along the Mexican Riviera, and all I can say is, “Wow!” I’m sure you’ve heard of Murphy’s Law, right? Well I proved beyond a shadow of a doubt that it isn’t just a theory. To end this post on a happy note, let me start with the Ugly and work backwards.
UGLY: Closed the bathroom door on my thumbnail. Ouch! Don’t think I’ll lose it but it’s really bruised. Clumsy me walked into the steel frame of a lounge chair and whacked my chin something awful. It swelled like a goose egg. Even after icing the lump it still looks like a golf ball. And it hurts like hell. Because of the excessive amount of salt they use in preparing the food, my ankles and feet were swollen during much of the cruise. We requested salt-free main courses, and they graciously accommodated us, but the swelling persisted.
BAD: Two days into the cruise I developed palpitations and an irregular heartbeat—not to mention that I felt absolutely horrible. Saw the ship MD and he checked me out, gave me an EKG. $154 later he pretty much assured me that I wasn’t going to die (at least not during the cruise). Just as quickly as it came, it mysteriously went away. My wife and I were swimming on a beach in Puerto Vallarta. I foolishly turned my back on a giant wave and it knocked me ass over teakettle. Both my chins were scraped and bleeding and my $350 prescription sunglasses are sleeping with the fishes.
GOOD: Aside from the medical issues and beating the crap out of my body, the cruise was wonderful. Overall, the meals were excellent, our stateroom was comfortable, and the entertainment was first class. We weren’t impressed with Mazatlan, but loved Puerto Vallarta and Cabo San Lucas. The fact that my wife speaks fluent Spanish really helped us bond with the locals. We met some wonderful people on this cruise, and we will likely stay in touch with several of them. One in particular was an absolute howl.
There you have it. Now I just need to find a way to face what will likely be a very long and painful workweek.