Creepy Enough?

Since launching my web site/blog in early October, those in the know—my publicist, the PR gal from Amazon Encore, and other notable marketing gurus—have insisted that my site is not creepy enough. It stands to reason that an author who created one of the most diabolical series killers ever to live on the pages of a novel, should have a site that screams creepy. 

Well, I’m anything but a web site designer. In fact, other than my ability to upload daily posts and adding an occasional photo, I’m basically retarded when it comes to anything even remotely close to web site design or management. Thank God, my dear friend and “savior” Paula, held my hand throughout the design and upkeep process, and basically did 98% of the work. What I really love about Paula is her willingness to help. When I call her and ask if she can add this or modify that, she virtually drops what she’s doing and tackles it immediately. 

So, I sent her a few photos, shared my concept with her, and voilà! Just like magic she changed the home page from boring to creepy. But is it creepy enough? Will visitors get the message that They Never Die Quietly takes the whole thriller genre to a new level of evil? Only you, my readers, can truly answer this question. Should I leave it alone? Should I modify it? Change an image? Use a different background color? Any suggestions? What say you?

Once is not Enough

How many times have you promised yourself after gorging your belly with a 10-course Thanksgiving dinner that you’d never do it again? Next year, you proclaim, you’re going to pace yourself and walk away from the dinner table not feeling like you’re at the verge of exploding. Well, for me, I set an all-time record this year, and to be honest with you, I’m totally disgusted with myself. 

You see, it wasn’t just “BirdDay” that got me in the gut; it was the week that preceded the holiday. My mother-in-law came to visit for a week and spent Thanksgiving with us. So, my wife and I felt the need to wine and dine her during her visit. But instead of taking her to nice restaurants that served modest portions, we went the all-you-can-eat buffet route. We did the Soup Plantation, Onami’s Sushi, Zorba’s Greek buffet, Palomino’s Mexican restaurant (not a buffet but the portions are ridiculously gi-normous!). We also did breakfast at the Broken Yoke Café, and did some serious damage there as well. 

By the time Thanksgiving rolled around, my stomach was well prepared to chow down a record-setting amount of food—and believe me when I tell you; I was like an eating machine! We were invited to a friend’s house for dinner, a friend who cooks enough food to feed every man, woman, and child in the western hemisphere. Seriously. Not only did she roast two twenty-pound turkeys with all the fixings, her appetizer selection was a buffet all by itself. I’m talking everything from artichoke dip to cheese trays to hummus to shrimp cocktail—you name it, and she had it. 

By the time I downed a couple of glasses of wine and grazed on the selection of finger foods, I wasn’t really hungry for dinner, but hey, I didn’t want to be rude! So, I did what any red-blooded American boy would do on Thanksgiving, piled it on my plate and stuffed it in until my eyes were out of focus. And then, of course, when my brain caught up with my stomach, I could barely breathe. It was not a pretty sight. 

So, as a result of my glutinous behavior, I have decided to make an early New Year’s resolution. I’m going to lose 15 pounds by March 1, 2010 and limit my visits to my favorite buffets. Yes, I know, you’ve heard it all before. In fact, this is not the first time I vowed to lose weight and limit the calorie intake. But unlike in the past, I’ve got a little more incentive this time. I donated my “fat pants” to a local charity. So either I lose weight or run around in my skivvies. And that would be a scary sight.

Alex Immortalized

For those of you who follow my blog regularly, you know the sad story of my beloved cat, Alex, who died from renal failure on November 17. After 16 years, she is now enjoying eternity in Kitty Heaven. It’s been unimaginably painful; more difficult than I ever anticipated. I have tough days and tougher days, but as of yet I haven’t had any peaceful days—not even modestly peaceful. 

Yesterday, when my Florida-visiting mother-in-law, my wife, and I returned from a visit to the San Diego Zoo, I found an 11×17 package waiting for us inside the screen door. It had been shipped FedEx and was very official looking. The return address read: International Star Registry. Being the cynic that I am, I figured it was some come-on, a scam of sorts; some ploy to extort money. As I carefully tore open the package, mindful to heed the “Do Not Bend” and “Fragile” warnings, my skepticism grew. 

The enclosed letter read: 

“A star in the heavens has been named, Alex, in memoriam. 

The enclosed certificate indicates the new name of the star and its telescopic coordinates. The booklet with constellation charts will help you in locating the area of the star and the large sky chart shows the named star encircled in red. 

Alex, the new star name and telescopic coordinates will be registered in the International Star Registry’s vault in Switzerland and recorded in the astronomical compendium, Volume IX, copyrighted in the United States of America.” 

I looked at the astronomical map and located the star named, Alex. It is in the constellation, Ursa Minor, and its location is RA15h32m20.58s D73°1’54.60” Of course none of this astronomical mumble-jumble means anything to me. However, somewhere out there in space, 50, maybe 100 million light years away, a star shines in memory of Alex. 

Exploring deeper into the package, I found a greeting card with this inscription: 

So sorry for your loss, but Alex’s light will shine forever. 

Janice & Puma 

Janice is a dear friend, a lovely woman and a real cat lover. Puma is her feline companion. 

It took only a nanosecond for the tears to fill my eyes. I had to excuse myself and dash to the bedroom. I suspect that for the next few weeks, maybe for the next few years, triggers like this will choke me up. It may be silly for a grown man to react like this. But all I know is that I miss my little girl and know in my heart that the star dedicated in her name will not only shine brightly, it will warm the universe and warm my heart. 

Happy Thanksgiving.

ALEXANDRA

Born: October 2, 1993

Reborn: November 17, 2009